Former Phillies Pitchers Make Great Senators

I wonder if Jamie Moyer will be next to announce a run for the Senate? I'd vote for him if he did. It'll be interesting to see if Red Sox Nation (you know, since Schilling helped the Sox even more than he helped the Phils in 1993) can beat Kennedy Commie Nation in Massachussetts - that is, if Schilling decides to run. Here's to hope that Massachussetts can somehow have a Senator that makes any kind of sense soon. First Jim Bunning (R-KY), now Curt Schilling (I-MA????). Let's go Phillies!

And now for something [almost] completely different!

Joe Biden is my favorite sideshow act in the history of Presidential politics. It reminds me of the old days (you know, back in like... 2002) when SNL actually had good nights. Darrell Hammond would play the part of Chris Matthews and they did a "Hardball" spoof. Tracy Morgan played Harry Bellafonte (day-o, daaaay-o. Bellefonte's a crazy mo-fo!). It's ashame YouTube was forced to take down all of the videos, but look it up, it was awesome. Morgan's Bellefonte said crazy things like, "Poodles are the black man of the dog world..." and "Osama bin Laden is an Uncle Tom!" Hammond's Matthews replied with, "I don't even know who that's offensive to!"

That exchange from SNL was like foreshadowing of the Biden Vice Presidency. Every time I see him on TV, I laugh. I, like Hammond, yell at my TV (unlike Hammond), "Joe Biden, hit me with a quick one!"

Biden (who, above, looks oddly like a cartoon milkshake superhero from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, also above) told people that the Stimulus (American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, or Bullcrap Ineffective Waste of Money for short) was working better than anyone expected. I guess that goes to show the height of expectations this administration has for its policies. As I drove up US-222 from US-30 to get to the PA Turnpike yesterday, I was privileged enough to encounter some of that "faster, more [efficient], more [effective]" stimulus work. I saw the sign and just knew that I'd be stuck in traffic for at least 15 minutes. Here's why:
I saw this:

Then one of these:

And a whole lot of not work. I guess when you have an unlimited budget of monopoly money with a Fed stamp on it, you can take a 6 hour break in the middle of your 7 hour shift. Makes sense to me, right? But, the 5 miles of closure on the right lane caused lots of this:

So, while it may be that these construction "workers" are getting a paycheck when they may have otherwise been doing the same thing they do now, except indoors, in front of their TV, and NOT getting paid with my future grandchildren's money, it's going to be interesting to see how many people get fired for attendance issues due to the excessive traffic caused by all of those orange cones they put out to surround their break area... oh, wait, I mean the work zone. Every time I see that flashing white light (you know, the "fines doubled" light... I know that's not what it's called, but that's the only meaning I can get from it, since "active work zone" seems to be a foreign concept, at least in PA), it makes me sad, and I start planning to be late to wherever I need to go. Some nights, I'm tempted to stop by Home Depot or Lowes and pick up some concrete mix and just go finish the job myself. Come to think of it, I could probably do it for less money, in less time and more effectively. But hey, that's the opposite of how our government does things, is it?

Joe Biden... one more time!

Carl FTW. What do you think?